Tuesday
Jun292010
Be Here Now (Where here = online + in the room)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 at 01:21PM
I work from home full-time building at least three businesses: my creative writing career, my editing business, and, with my husband, Chris, Emotion Technology. I've been self-employed for over six years, and I love it. It comes with its challenges, no doubt, but for me, the sacrifices are worth the privilege of being able to set my own schedule, choose my colleagues, and have zero commute.
One of the biggest challenges began three years ago, when Chris also started working from home. Since we're two different people, we have different working styles, and merging them can be tricky.
Maintaining respectful relationships with your co-workers is important no matter where you work, but when your only co-worker is also your spouse, business partner, best friend, and roommate, the stakes are high. If I snap at him for interrupting my train of thought, it means more than an awkward eight hours at the office.
Your highest integrity and kindness is on call all day, every day.
There is literally nowhere to escape.
Which is why I loved Dr. Brené Brown's post yesterday called "They Don't Need Us to Be Sorry, Just Present." She's talking specifically about the relationship between social media careers and family, especially children, but I gobbled up her concrete tips on how she's trying to honor both.
Especially this one:
2. I’m employing the Nordstrom method of engaging. The salespeople at Nordstrom always walk around to the front of the register table to hand you your bag. They never reach over the counter. I’m trying to do the same thing. I’m trying to never talk to my kids over the top of my laptop or while I’m staring at the screen.
If I’m working and they need something quick (e.g., Where are my goggles?), I’ll pause, look them in the eye and tell them. If they need more attention, I say, “I want to talk to you about this. Give me ten minutes to finish my work.” Obviously, if it’s important, I shut the top and physically turn my body toward them. I started this a few months ago and now both of my kids will often say, “When you’re done can you . . . “
I don't have kids, but that last example makes my heart melt with gratitude and joy anyway. What a gorgeous thing to model -- two-way respect between work and family. Both of those satisfy basic human instincts in different ways, and this whole oil-and-water dialogue we've got going in the U.S. about work and family is so 2000.
When I'm feeling compassionate towards myself, I consider our work-at-home arrangement as our personal activism toward forging a new kind of family partnership -- another paradigm to choose from. It's time.
One of the biggest challenges began three years ago, when Chris also started working from home. Since we're two different people, we have different working styles, and merging them can be tricky.
Maintaining respectful relationships with your co-workers is important no matter where you work, but when your only co-worker is also your spouse, business partner, best friend, and roommate, the stakes are high. If I snap at him for interrupting my train of thought, it means more than an awkward eight hours at the office.
Your highest integrity and kindness is on call all day, every day.
There is literally nowhere to escape.
Which is why I loved Dr. Brené Brown's post yesterday called "They Don't Need Us to Be Sorry, Just Present." She's talking specifically about the relationship between social media careers and family, especially children, but I gobbled up her concrete tips on how she's trying to honor both.
Especially this one:
2. I’m employing the Nordstrom method of engaging. The salespeople at Nordstrom always walk around to the front of the register table to hand you your bag. They never reach over the counter. I’m trying to do the same thing. I’m trying to never talk to my kids over the top of my laptop or while I’m staring at the screen.
If I’m working and they need something quick (e.g., Where are my goggles?), I’ll pause, look them in the eye and tell them. If they need more attention, I say, “I want to talk to you about this. Give me ten minutes to finish my work.” Obviously, if it’s important, I shut the top and physically turn my body toward them. I started this a few months ago and now both of my kids will often say, “When you’re done can you . . . “
I don't have kids, but that last example makes my heart melt with gratitude and joy anyway. What a gorgeous thing to model -- two-way respect between work and family. Both of those satisfy basic human instincts in different ways, and this whole oil-and-water dialogue we've got going in the U.S. about work and family is so 2000.
When I'm feeling compassionate towards myself, I consider our work-at-home arrangement as our personal activism toward forging a new kind of family partnership -- another paradigm to choose from. It's time.
Reader Comments (2)
It is time, isn't it? I love this post. Thank you for the inspiring words and the link to Dr. Brown's post- really really good. Here's looking at you, S
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